Galena Police Department

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is not always physical, but it is always about power and control.

Domestic Violence is...

Using Coercion and Threats

• Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the victim.
• Threatening to leave, to commit suicide, to report to Child Welfare Agency.
• Making the victim participate in illegal things.

Using Intimidation

• Making the victim afraid by using looks, gestures, actions, smashing things, destroying property, abusing pets and displaying weapons.

Using Emotional Abuse

• Putting the victim “down.”
• Making a person feel bad about his or herself through name calling, mind games, humiliation or guilt.

Using Isolation

• Controlling what one does, whom they see, whom they talk to, what they read or where they go.
• Limiting outside involvement.
• Using jealousy to justify actions.

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

• Making light of the abuse and not taking concerns seriously.
• Saying the abuse didn’t happen.
• Shifting responsibility for the abusive behavior by saying the victim caused it.

Using Children

• Making the victim feel guilty about the children.
• Using the children to relay messages.
• Using visitation as a way to harass.
• Threatening to take the children away.

Using Male Privilege

• Threatening the victim like a servant.
• Acting like the “master of the castle.”

Using Economic Abuse

• Preventing the victim from getting or keeping a job.
• Making the victim ask for money.
• Giving an allowance.
• Taking the victim’s money.
• Failing to let the victim know about or have access to family income.

Information Obtained Through The Domestic Violence Intervention Project, Duluth Minnesota

Domestic Violence Myths

MYTH: Family violence is rare.
TRUTH: Although statistics on family violence are not precise, it’s clear that family members abuse millions of children, women and even men  

MYTH: Family violence is a problem of the lower class.
TRUTH: Reports from police records, victim services and academic studies show domestic violence exists equally in every socioeconomic group, regardless of race or culture.  

MYTH: Alcohol and drug abuse are the real causes of domestic violence.
TRUTH: Men are the abusers in the overwhelming majority of domestic violence incidents.  While many male batterers abuse alcohol and other drugs, domestic violence and substance abuse are two different problems that should be treated separately.  Alcohol and drugs may increase the lethality of the violence, but they are not the cause of domestic abuse.  Many times, batterers use alcohol or drug use as an excuse to evade responsibility for their behavior. The truth is that abusers typically control their actions, even when drunk or high, by making sure the abuse takes place in private. In addition, successful completion of a drug treatment program does not guarantee an end to battering.  

MYTH: Battered wives like being hit otherwise they would leave.
TRUTH: The most common response to battering is “Why doesn’t she just leave?”  This statement ignores economic and social realities facing many battered women. Shelters are often full.  Family, friends, and the workplace often fail to provide the necessary support.  Faced with rent and utility deposits, day care, health insurance, and other basic expenses, a woman may feel that she cannot support herself and her children with the abuser.  Moreover, in some instances, a woman may be increasing the chance of physical harm, or even death, if she leaves an abusive spouse.  

Local Resources

CHOICES, Galena, Illinois 24-hour domestic violence crisis line—815-777-3680 or www.choices4you.org

Adapted from: “Preventing Violence Against Women, Not Just a Woman’s Issue,”  National Crime Prevention Council, 1995. Body text including a description and information about the subject.